Unfortunately, people who self-harm not only have psychological scars from their behavior but physical ones too, and explaining self-harm scars to others can seem almost like an impossible task. People with self-harm scars (also known as self-injury scars or self-mutilation scars) may be embarrassed and not want to talk about what was undoubtedly a painful point in their lives. (read: I Cut Myself: The Shame and Secrecy of Self-Harm) This is completely understandable but there will always come a time when self-injury scars will have to be explained to someone in your life. (That's why this article about how to tell someone you self-injure might be helpful.)
- Arm Scars Sims 4 Cc
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- The Sims 4 Self Harm Scars
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Self-harm scars may result from the different ways to self-harm, like burning or cutting, and self-mutilation scars most commonly appear on the:1
.trigger warning.I just wanted to make this cas because I know a lot of people struggle with cutting themselves. When I was younger, I used to cut myself. Jan 24, 2018 speaking of, I would really like to find any self harm tattos or maybe skins for my sims 4 Link to post. (CC scars, decayclown's included, self-harm poses, and so. Self harm awareness I just got into the CC world and I was trying to do the self harm scars but one of the CC's I used ended up making the Sims clothes have the skin texture? It was so disturbing.
- Arms
- Hands
- Wrists
- Thighs
- Stomach
Depending on their placement, it can be hard to hide self-mutilation scars so for some people, more explanation is needed than for others.
Isolation and Self-Harm Scars
Acts of self-harm, and to some extent the scars from self-harm, tend to keep people at a distance. Self-injury is something done in private and often with shame and guilt attached to the activity. These feelings may then also be associated with the self-injury scars. Many don't want to share the evidence of their shame and guilt.
This tends to bring about loneliness and isolation and may make a person believe that they are alone in their self-harm. This isn't true, however. Many people, of all ages, self-harm (yes, even adults self-harm) – the act is far more common than most people believe. But like you, most people don't want to talk about it. (See these self-injury stories.)
Opening up about self-mutilation scars can help break the isolation and help you to understand that you are not alone and people do love you in spite of what you have done in the past or even the self-injury in which you currently engage in.
Talking About Self-Injury Scars
It may seem like no one will be able to understand your self-injury or your self-injury scars, but this isn't true. Many people have experience with self-mutilation, and even those who don't can have understanding and empathy for what you have been through.
When talking about self-mutilation and self-mutilation scars:2
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- Focus on your feelings – self-harm scars aren't about the physical, they are about the emotional. The details about what you physically did matter a lot less than the feelings that drove you to that place and people may be able to identify with your emotions more readily than your acts.
- Tell the person why you're talking to them about self-harm scars – you probably aren't talking about your self-mutilation scars for no reason. Likely, you want understanding, closeness and support and it's okay to tell someone that. When you tell someone what you need, you are much more likely to get it.
- Communicate in a way in which you feel comfortable – while it might always be ideal to have a face-to-face communication about self-mutilation scars, that might not be something you are comfortable with, so pick a method that makes sense for you. You might start the conversation in an email or letter, although you will still likely have to follow-up face-to-face. And remember, you don't have to share every detail – only share what you're comfortable with right now.
- Give the person time to process what you're telling them – what you're telling someone can be hard for them to immediately accept, so give them time to think about what you're saying. It's hard to hear that someone you love has been hurting his or herself and it's natural to act surprised at first. This doesn't mean the person won't understand, it just means they need some time to adjust to the news.
- Provide education about self-harm – if the person doesn't know about self-harm provide a way for him or her to learn about it. Provide a book on self-harm or give them the HealthyPlace.com Self-Injury website address where they can learn more, including self-harm statistics and facts. Knowledge dispels fear and creates understanding.
And remember, talking about self-injury scars may not go as well as you like sometimes, but that doesn't mean that everyone will react in the same way. Some people will be supportive.
(If you're on the other side, meaning someone is telling you they self-injure, your reactions to their self-injury disclosure are so important.)
APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2012, August 24). Explaining Self-Harm Scars to Others, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, July 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/explaining-self-harm-scars-to-others
Questions about self-harm scars and dating, sex and intimacy cause many people with visible self-harm scars to worry: 'Are self-harm scars a turn-off?' 'Should I try to hide my scars from my partner?' 'When is it appropriate to explain my scars to a partner, and how can I best approach this type of conversation?' What are the right answers to these questions about self-harm scars and dating?
The right answer for you will vary depending on a whole host of factors, including your self-harm history, where you are in self-harm recovery, and your partner's familiarity with self-harm. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. You are in control of your own narrative and there is no obligation on your part to do things one way or the other. If you are having trouble with answering questions about your self-harm scars and dating, however, here are some general guidelines that I find to be helpful.
Self-Harm Scars and Dating Casually
Yes, self-harm scars are a turn-off to some people. This does not mean that those people are bad people or not worth our time. There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity. Unless the person was rude about your scars, there is no need to take it personally (Keeping Calm When Others Put You Down).
The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much. In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all. If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scars, which either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss.
Self-Harm Scars and Serious Relationships
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In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth. There is no easy to way to broach this subject, but it is for the wellbeing of your relationship.
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The good news, again, is that many people will respond with compassion, and respect you for having the courage to speak with them about it. Your partner only wants to know that you are okay now and that self-harm will not interfere with the relationship. How you approach the conversation is up to you, but it may be helpful to include the above concerns.
All in all, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself and whatever decisions you make. Your scars will always be more noticeable to you than to anyone else, so your comfort should always come first. The scars are only a part of you and your story, and so should only be a part of your love life. There is no need to let them stand in the way of enjoying a variety of fun and fulfilling relationships.
APA Reference
Chang, K. (2018, February 14). Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, July 7 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2018/02/self-harm-scars-in-sex-and-dating